I’ve gone through a lot of emotions and upheavals in the past several months, but one thing I’ve learned is that being a woman has some serious perks when it comes to cheering ourselves up and changing our self-image. I’m not saying that guys can’t do these things necessarily, but I don’t know many cishet men who would do the things I have to branch out.
I’ve started wearing make up to work just as a confidence boost to myself. It’s nothing extreme most of the time, but a touch of mascara and lip tint goes a long way to reminding me that I can be successful and a girl at the same time. I know I look nice, which adds to my comfort level, and the guys in production look anyway, so might as well look pretty. I even got a wolf whistle yesterday from one of the guys I chat with…my office mate warned me that could be an HR thing if I wanted to pursue it, but I wasn’t offended. I just need to be careful about how often I wear my new Harvest Moon BPAL babydoll.
I’ve also begun wearing jewelry on a regular basis and doing more with my hair. Since my work outfits are just T-shirts, although I’ve been buying more babydolls, and jeans my jewelry isn’t too over the top (okay, the one choker/collar I own pushes the envelope a little, but no one has said anything). The little touches remind me that I don’t have to pretend to be a man to get my job done. I guess it’s my version of the tough attorney with the silky lingerie under her power suit.
I’m also wearing perfume again regularly, which feels like I’ve gotten part of myself back. I stopped due to dating someone who was allergic plus my money issues made buying stuff prohibitively expensive, but my situation has changed. I’ve gotten compliments at work on my scents, and my boss even liked Wolf’s Heart (that’s slightly weird, but sure!) on me.
My bellydance classes are also something I wouldn’t have been brave enough to try in the past because I have no sense of skill with dancing or my body. I’m glad I’m taking that step because it’s something entirely for me, and it connects me with other women of different skill levels, body types, and reasons for dancing. Being around different people also pushes me to expand my horizons, so we’ll see.
My new found confidence and blossoming has been noticed, but I don’t know what that means for me. I’m still feeling my way into this new stage of my life, so I need to figure out me for a while. Being a girl is hard work after all, and I want to make sure I get good at doing it on my own!