It’s Been Another Crazy Week

I hate that I keep putting off real blog posts, but work is getting more intense again.

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So I’m not quite as bad as the image, but somehow I’ve become more important to many things yet again. My boss tells me I’m doing fine, but I sometimes think I’m disastrous. However, I know that as long as my boss is happy things are good. I’m just enough of a perfectionist to want everything to work exactly the way it should, which is impossible when you’re dealing with the real world!

After my social butterfly weekend with ‘Ant-Man’ and the BPAL meet and sniff on Friday and Saturday nights respectively I’m retreating into my cave and avoiding most human interactions to actually recharge. I’m going to need to be on my A game on Monday, so I need to actually use the weekend to recoup rather than run myself ragged. I did emerge for yoga class and a trip to Wal-Mart and HEB for supplies (I now have a standing fan to move between my computer room and bedroom), and I’ll hit belly dance class tomorrow, but everything else is hermit mode. I didn’t even shower today…

Is it time for me to start trying to grow a beard? Geez!

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So I Saw ‘Ant-Man’

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Last night I did something I haven’t done in all my years of geekery…I joined a large group of other nerds, geeks, and non-mainstreamish types to view a movie for us in the theater. I’ve done mass viewings of geek media in other people’s homes, but I’d never owned my geek pride publicly outside of a convention. It was both overwhelming and cool, but since I might not have seen Ant-Man in theaters without the push I’m glad that the Austin Geeks and Gamers meet up had the event!

I was actually felt a little out-geeked when I first met up with the group before the movie. Many people were chatting about comic book topics I knew nothing about and other geek things I’d heard of but had no opinions on. I felt very, very mundane since I had no thoughts to share. However, I did manage to connect with a couple of other women who were definitely geeks but related to comic book movies more like I did (plus one of them was just really vivacious and happy to share lots of thoughts about anything and everything).

Hanging out at Baby A’s afterwards was a lot more fun because we could share thoughts on the movie itself, and my end of the table moved to all sorts of fandom topics from Farscape to Stargate SG-1) to the horror of the Star Wars Christmas Special to Game of Thrones. It probably helped that we’d been stuck in a theater with each other for about 2 1/2 hours as well, so we’d decided that no one would actually bite unless asked very, very nicely! I was exhausted when I got home, but it’s good that I forced myself out to be social even if I looked more weird Goth than geek in my BPAL babydoll, shorts, black and white striped tights, and Mary Jane style flats.

But what did I think of the movie? To be honest Ant-Man will not stand out as one of the best Marvel Cinematic Universe movies, but it’s fun enough to be worth seeing on the big screen. I saw it in 3D, but I think that’s definitely optional. Nothing is so amazing that I would have missed seeing it on 2D. If you have a problem with ants this is NOT the movie for you…there’s a lot of stuff with tiny Ant-Man and his insectoid friends. The first hour felt really, really slow, but when it picked up I stayed focused and didn’t feel like I needed to check the time. I agree with my other viewers that it’s a solid B or B+ movie; it won’t stick with you long, but it’s a decent addition to the MCU. Hopefully, later installments with Ant-Man will keep up the momentum of the second half of the film.

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Another Week with a Lame Update Post

I’ve had a week of ups and downs…hanging out with someone I really like at a cool place, having to replace the battery in my car, weird stuff coming down at work, getting off the 6:30 to 5 schedule, etc.

As a result I just don’t have any brain power to come up with a blog post this week. I’m trying to process my personal life and determine what I want from things. On the plusses I did get to hang out with someone I really like at a cool place and I looked fabulous (stockings look great on me apparently!), and my boss trusts me to a strong degree despite my only having been with him for three months. Unfortunately that trust from him comes with distrust from others, and weird things at work stress me the hell out. Yay politics?

I’m going out to a bar that has karaoke tonight, so I hope it’ll be fun. I have some cute stockings, new shorter skirts (they’re a little big on me, so they sit around the hips rather than the waist, so they fall just above my knees), and intend to break out one of my sheer blouses. Hopefully, I don’t get into too much trouble…or maybe I’m hoping to find it!

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Happy 4th of July, USA!

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Last year I whined about how much I hated Independence Day because firecrackers were a hazard, and they drove my dogs absolutely batty. However, this year I realized that my two dogs who hated the noise are no longer here…I miss them dearly, but it’s also a relief to know they won’t be miserable for another noisy holiday. My three remaining pups and the cats don’t really care one way or the other about firebangs and noise, which means I have some choices to make. Do I have to stay home this year, or can I venture out to see a professional show if I so desire?

Odds are I’ll be home watching something on TV tonight, but knowing I could go out if I wanted to or if I were invited out is immensely satisfying. I can get dolled up (within reason…the new impractical shoes would not work for fireworks shows), go somewhere, and just let myself appreciate the holiday without panicking about Akane or Perdita having fits at home. Wow…just wow…

I was also without internet for about twenty-four hours due to an issue with AT&T, and I felt like I’d lost an arm. I am such an internet junky that not having access was painful. One of my worries was that I wouldn’t be able to post to my blog today (because everyone is waiting eagerly for my silly posts, obviously!), but here I am. Yay for the internet being back, yay for non-stressed pooches, and yay for being able to stream something tonight if I choose to stay in!

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Sometimes I Like Being a Girl

I’ve gone through a lot of emotions and upheavals in the past several months, but one thing I’ve learned is that being a woman has some serious perks when it comes to cheering ourselves up and changing our self-image. I’m not saying that guys can’t do these things necessarily, but I don’t know many cishet men who would do the things I have to branch out.

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I’ve started wearing make up to work just as a confidence boost to myself. It’s nothing extreme most of the time, but a touch of mascara and lip tint goes a long way to reminding me that I can be successful and a girl at the same time. I know I look nice, which adds to my comfort level, and the guys in production look anyway, so might as well look pretty. I even got a wolf whistle yesterday from one of the guys I chat with…my office mate warned me that could be an HR thing if I wanted to pursue it, but I wasn’t offended. I just need to be careful about how often I wear my new Harvest Moon BPAL babydoll.

I’ve also begun wearing jewelry on a regular basis and doing more with my hair. Since my work outfits are just T-shirts, although I’ve been buying more babydolls, and jeans my jewelry isn’t too over the top (okay, the one choker/collar I own pushes the envelope a little, but no one has said anything). The little touches remind me that I don’t have to pretend to be a man to get my job done. I guess it’s my version of the tough attorney with the silky lingerie under her power suit.

I’m also wearing perfume again regularly, which feels like I’ve gotten part of myself back. I stopped due to dating someone who was allergic plus my money issues made buying stuff prohibitively expensive, but my situation has changed. I’ve gotten compliments at work on my scents, and my boss even liked Wolf’s Heart (that’s slightly weird, but sure!) on me.

My bellydance classes are also something I wouldn’t have been brave enough to try in the past because I have no sense of skill with dancing or my body. I’m glad I’m taking that step because it’s something entirely for me, and it connects me with other women of different skill levels, body types, and reasons for dancing. Being around different people also pushes me to expand my horizons, so we’ll see.

My new found confidence and blossoming has been noticed, but I don’t know what that means for me. I’m still feeling my way into this new stage of my life, so I need to figure out me for a while. Being a girl is hard work after all, and I want to make sure I get good at doing it on my own!

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Trying to Get Mail When You Work an 8-5!

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I hate, hate, hate finding delivery tags on my door when I drag myself home from work at the end of the day. It’s not that I don’t want parcels (I love parcels!), but I know it’s going to be a major hassle to try to get said item due to working through the hours my local post office is open. The irony is that I work directly across the street from the central post office in Austin, but I don’t know of a way to get my mail transferred back from my branch office to the one I can easily get to during work hours (if anyone knows if this is an option, please let me know!). Inevitably my notices also contain the dreaded “If checked, you or your agent must be present at time of delivery to sign for item” ticked since the parcel lockers in my mailbox block have been re-keyed and are usable again.

Besides just managing to get my hands on the mail piece I’ve discovered that I get almost nothing I want via registered mail. I get legal documents that either depress me or just make me scratch my head most of the time. At this point I think that has trickled off, and while I do understand why legal forms need a signature upon receipt it’s still frustrating. Here’s just hoping that whatever I rescheduled to be delivered today is something I actually want and that my postal carrier can manage to deliver it as requested!

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I Tried Belly Dance Today!

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Admittedly, my outfit was not anywhere near that adorable (it mostly resembled by fashion disaster yoga clothes from last week, but I wore black shorts instead of the wonderfully eye searing blue ones). I discovered a drop in all levels belly dance class through the Austin Belly Dance Association MeetUp group, and it’s something I’d put on my list of things to try as a distraction from going too crazy.

I showed up thirty minutes before the class started, which turned out to be way too early since no one was at the studio! I wandered around the area a little bit, read some, texted and screwed around on my phone, and just worried that I’d read things wrong on the website. However, the instructor for this morning’s class, Liora, showed up promptly at 10:30 and opened the studio.

To my surprise and pleasure I ended up getting a private intro to belly dance class because I was the only person who showed up! I learned about things like hip and shoulder ups, moving my hips and shoulders back and forward and side to side, started working on shimmies and snake arms, and generally learned how to watch and make my body work as a single instrument. It was also very low stress since Liora was really friendly, and I didn’t have anyone else watching me.

Admittedly I’m feeling muscle strain in some odd parts of my body (the fronts of my shoulders, WTF?), but it was a lot of fun. I’ve purchased a class pass for Liora’s Sunday night beginner/intro class since a. it’s the one that fits best into my schedule b. I really enjoyed her as an instructor. If I continue with belly dance long term I’ll obviously need to work with other instructors, but right now I just want to enjoy doing something different from what I’ve always done. I’m just glad I was brave enough to give it a try.

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